A cold room with jungle-themed walls, painted mostly green, with cartoonish looking trees, flowers and a large tiger, lounging on a branch. Present in the room is a counter with typical, patient room material and a sink on top, cabinets underneath, an exam table and across from that, two chairs for family to sit in. 


          (knock knock)

Hellooo! Gutierrez family? Hi, my name is

Adnan, so nice to meet you! You're mom? 

Adnan gestures to shake mother's hand.




Mother, almost reluctantly, shakes Adnan's outstretched hand.


          (also smiling)

Nice to meet you, mom.

Office MA translates throughout. Adnan turns to patient sitting on exam table.

                                   ADNAN (CONT'D)

And who are you?! Hey! I like your shoes! Purple -- just like your shirt!

Adnan continues to state obvious things about the little girl's attire while the patient smiles a luminous, toothy grin as she enjoys compliments for her matching abilities. Meanwhile, the MA, who has been translating for Adnan all day, wonders about Adnan and his strange fascination with little, girl's shoes. 

                                                       ADNAN (CONT'D)

         (now seated next to the patient)

Sooo… they told me that your throat has been hurting? How long has that been going on? Two days! Aw, I'm sorry! Hurts to eat and drink, you say? Let's get you feeling better! Anything else going on? Mom, have you noticed anything?

Adnan turns to the mother and watches intently as she answers in Spanish. She speaks her native tongue elegantly and for a long time. Adnan begins to wonder what she might be saying, anticipating quite a history of this present illness. It almost sounds like the Spanish audio version of Harry Potter and the Strep Throat. The MA finally turns to Adnan and says that the patient has also experienced a fever. Apparently, that was all the mother said.

                                                       ADNAN (CONT'D)

     (once again, looking at the patient)

That's no fun! Anything else bothering you, little one? In your head, eyes, ears, nose? Are you coughing at all? Tummy ache? Going to the bathroom okay? Are you itching anywhere? 

Adnan, having chosen to speak with a bizarre cadence and intonation as he asks these questions, realizes too late that he sounds like a scary, carnival clown. He proceeds regardless as it would be just as weird to suddenly switch to a normal voice now. Everyone carries on as if none of this is creepy. But it is. Patient denies any other symptoms. A silence brews, but then...


          (thrusts hand in the air, wishing to add)


Adnan can't help but smile and chuckle at this young patient's enthusiasm about her age. Funnier than that is the odd timing of this outburst and his near-sarcastic reply, which was completely unintentional.



That's great!


                                                       ADNAN (CONT'D)

          (disembarks from the table)

Well, I'm gonna take a look at her, just kind of head to toe. Her vitals are better than mine! And no fever when they checked her in, so that's good. 

Adnan states every single normal finding from her temperature to her absent lymph nodes. Reassures mom that nothing more serious is going on and when it comes time to tell mom about the slightly erythematous oropharynx with bilateral tonsillar exudates, she'll see that there's not much more to worry about. For some reason, Adnan feels compelled to tell the story of how antibodies formed an army against the evil M proteins of Group A ß-Hemolytic streptococcus species and the importance of treating this with Amoxil is based on our valiant efforts to stamp out rheumatic fever in young persons because those same antibodies can be damaging to the heart muscle. Whew! Shortly thereafter, it becomes abundantly clear to Adnan that no one freakin' cares and that Adnan should shut up once in a while.

                                                       VOICE IN ADNAN'S HEAD

          (deep, angry, commanding)

Seriously, dude. Stop talking.


         (smiling once again)

Okay! Let me go talk to my doctor. I suspect that we will be prescribing that antibiotic that I mentioned earlier. Any questions? Preguntas? 

Adnan, realizing too late how ridiculous it is too introduce some Spanish at this juncture, with an MA translator standing two feet away, can't help contain the inner Latino that wants to break free. 

Mother and child say their thank yous. 

Adnan does the same and exits the room.



AuthorAdnan Khan